Are you interested in what makes some liberals and conservatives tick, so to speak? If so, read on. (And if you're just interested in what makes certain people tick, I think you'll like this short read!)

This came from a white paper I was reading for my professional work I do (leadership development). Of course it caught my attention and I couldn't wait to see 'which side they were on.'

But what I discovered was way better than that...

"Westen et al. (2006), recruited a group of strong conservatives and a group of strong liberals and put them in an fMRI scanner (although not all at once, which would have been a pretty interesting study). They had both groups come up with logical arguments against their own political party.
The parts of the brain that lit up were what you would expect: those associated with higher order and executive reasoning— primarily, the prefrontal cortex.

Then the researchers asked participants to generate arguments against the other side.
Tellingly, there was much less activity in the prefrontal cortex. Disturbing, but probably not shocking. So what parts of the brain were uniquely active?

One isn’t a surprise: the area of the brain that processes disgust. The other, however, is a bit less expected: an area of the brain associated with pleasure. These aren’t two sensations you normally associate with each other, but when you pair them together, you get an emotion with which most of us are familiar: self-righteousness. We take delight in the negative emotion, even though it seems like anything but delight." (Under the Hood, The Secret Engine that Drives Destructive Behavior, Wiley 2019).

This kind of behavior is also what is happening with some people when it comes to conflict in the workplace. But what do we do about it?

Luckily there is a solution, and a way to harness conflict and make it productive. After all, an organization without conflict is missing out on innovation and higher quality outcomes.

Contact me if you'd like to hear more about this topic. There are options to run your own conflict assessments, or have me come in and work with you on it.

If you're an HR leader, contact me for your free webinar and productive conflict assessment!

A long-time client, "Sue", had a heart-to-heart conversation with me about how she was so frustrated with her husband - she just didn't know if they were going to make it!  It just seemed like they were constantly misunderstanding each other, arguing, and angry.

After just a few questions, she explained the details of several situations - all of which were causing her visible stress and anxiety. All of a sudden Sue sat back and realized she had a great tool right in front of her that she had completely neglected to bring home. DiSC.

Fast forward 2 years. Sue and I had coffee the other day and she began to thank me profusely for that day she was complaining about her relationship and 'I helped her...' That's when I said "Sue, you figured that out all on your own, no need to thank me!"

That's when she said "I'm just so grateful you brought DiSC into my life. I truly think it may have saved my marriage. My husband Joe and I had different priorities and tendencies that neither of us understood, let alone respected. I started to observe and really listen to Joe, and not take what he was saying and how he was saying it so personally. That, in turn, helped him to ease up.

"Joe noticed the change in my behavior. I told him about DiSC. Because he saw the change in me, he was open to taking the assessment. He couldn't believe how accurate it was! He became genuinely curious about my DiSC style, and our relationship has been amazing ever since."

DiSC is one of those transferable tools we can use in any area of our life. I'm grateful Sue shared that story with me and it was so timely this week with Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours - remember to be patient and genuinely curious about the people you love this holiday season!

PS The GRIT Planner is on sale this week on www.Amazon.com/grittystuff - get yours by Cyber Monday to save big! 

When we know what each style prefers (D, i, S, C, and combinations thereof), we can ‘talk their language’. This helps earn more respect. More respect means better relationships, better work quality, more productivity, and a more enjoyable workplace.

People want to be understood and feel connected, and they appreciate when you make an effort to do so. But it’s not just in the words we use; it’s in the way we interact as well.

Consider an employee with primary “i”  and a manager with primary “D”. If the manager doesn’t recognize or appreciate the employee, but instead, only focuses on getting tasks completed, this employee will not feel connected. In fact, this employee may think the manager doesn’t care at all.

On the other hand, how much respect do you think the leader will earn if she adapts to the i’s ‘language’? A 30 second investment, as in a sincere thank you with eye contact and specific details of what the person did right, could yield a 50 to 100% increase in productivity.  

It works both ways. If the employee adapts to the manager, perhaps by being to the point, serious and focused, the manager will give the employee more respect.

To Ponder: How often do you think your nonverbals, your words, and your behavior are misunderstood, or not connecting with the other person? Do you stop to consider how your behavior is impacting the other person, and what you might do differently?  

Take Action: Think about how you can talk the other person’s language. Use words and nonverbals that they relate to. Pay attention to reactions, and adjust accordingly.  

FREEBIE - Check out www.MyEverythingDiSC.com to discover how to build stronger relationships, get buy-in, provide feedback and more! (Contact Jessica.Gorrell@unlimitedcoaching.com if you can’t access your free account - she will send you a direct link.)*

TOTALLY COOL - You can now add the My Everything DiSC to your Mobile Device! Email Jessica for instructions. 

BONUS: Want to learn more about Everything DiSC Management? Attend our FREE Webinar and receive a Management Profile Assessment! Hurry, you must register soon to secure a spot - contact Laurie@UnlimitedCoaching.com and let me know your preferred date (options in image below)!

For more information on DiSC® (for individuals, sales, managers or leaders), Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team®, 363®s, check out our products  and/or contact us directly at Laurie@UnlimitedCoaching.com.

DiSC® is such a great tool for the workplace. It helps us relate and communicate more effectively, adapt to tasks so we’re in the right frame of mind, and genuinely appreciate other DiSC styles for their strengths and what they bring to the team.

To ponder:  Think about how you can use DiSC as a tool during the Holidays. Not only will it help with stress during your family gatherings, but it will help you to have a happier New Year!

Take Action:
Think about the people you’ll be interacting with over the holidays, especially the ones you tend to struggle with. Consider their behavior - are they outspoken, animated, loud; or quiet, not easy to read and hard to connect with? Are they questioning and skeptical, or more agreeable and accepting?

Take a moment to be aware of someone’s style; this way you won’t take their behavior so personally when they interrupt during conversations, or they don’t engage in the conversation, or whatever that annoying behavior is to you. Take a breath, be more patient with others. Make it your priority to just enjoy the situation and the people you're with.  

Psst - If you need to refresh a little on DiSC, go to MyEverythingDiSC.com for lots of great resources!. Contact Jessica.Gorrell@UnlimitedCoaching.com for help.)

After all, our families and friends are the most important people in our lives. It might be worth a little prep ;)

Merry Christmas!

And have a Happy New Year!  One sure fired way to be happy and successful in 2019 - Check out our GRITty Stuff Planner (15% off until 12/31/18) - and have your best year yet! 

Everything DiSC Sales Customer Interaction Maps are a perfect personalized cheat sheet to prepare for sales calls! This one-page follow-up report helps salespeople adapt their style to meet the needs of a real life customer by comparing their selling style to the customer’s buying style.

Everything DiSC Sales Customer Interaction Maps are available with the completion of an ED Sales profile (click here for sample), and can be created on an ongoing basis if enabled in MyEverythingDiSC.com.

For help with your DiSC account, contact Jessica.Gorrell@UnlimitedCoaching.com. Mention this blog when you ask for 50% off your Sales DiSC Profile (regular price is $107.50. Your price $53.75!*) 
_{*Limit 1 per company please}

PS - People who prepare for sales calls with DiSC are five times more likely to connect and build rapport! 

Coaching doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes it takes great effort to effectively coach.
Did you know DiSC is a great tool to help us with some of the common mistakes made while coaching?

Common coaching mistake #1 - Giving the Answer. Coaching is about empowering others to figure things out their way, rather than telling them how to do it our way.
How DiSC Helps - When you understand your natural tendencies, you’ll know how much effort it takes you to hold back and ask questions, rather than tell people what to do.

Common coaching mistake #2 - Being vague when addressing performance issues. For example, saying “You’re not being a team player.”
How DiSC Helps - Being more direct and clear with what exact behavior you are not seeing and clarifying the behavior you expect to see. “I don’t see you offering to help others; you often tell them what they’re doing wrong. I need you to offer assistance when you see things go wrong; act like you serve this team rather than run this team.”

Common coaching mistake #3 - Ditching the coaching when work gets stressful.
How DiSC Helps - Many of us can feel as though coaching is an extra; it’s not the real work at hand. When that’s the case, coaching falls by the wayside. D’s may just want people to get it done. The “i” style may become very reactionary. The S’s are prone to resisting sudden change and may shut down. The C’s can end up just putting their nose to the grindstone and forgetting about coaching altogether.

Which coaching mistake might you fall into? Take a look at your DiSC map on MyEverythingDiSC.com and see how you might need to interact more effectively in varying situations with different styles.

Not sure how to access your report in MyEverythingDiSC.com? Email Jessica - she’s happy to help!

To Ponder:  Do you ever wonder how someone can be so far apart from your way of thinking? You have a vision of how the project should roll out, and someone on the team has a completely different way of looking at it. Or they just don’t see it the way you do. And it becomes an issue, an obstacle, a nuisance, or just a time waster.

One of the best ways to gain buy-in, is to allow people to weigh in (I first heard it said this way by Patrick Lencioni and it aligned so nicely with my GRIT methodology). The way we do this is very important. Considering a person’s DiSC style and what they prioritize, their stressors and fears will allow you to listen and focus on the areas that are important to them. The person will feel validated, connected to and respected.

Take Action: Practice ahead of time so you’re ready when you need to invite people to weigh in. As soon as you feel resistance, it’s time to allow someone to weigh in. How you will do that depends on their style. If you go on over to MyEverythingDiSC.com and compare someone with your style, you can then get tips about how to gain buy-in with that style. Below is a sample of tips you’ll receive, depending on your style and their style. (Feel free to compare with me if you just want to try it out first.)  

If you don’t have your free MyEverythingDiSC.com site and your DiSC profile(s) loaded, you can sign up for free. Our DiSC guru Jessica will send you some help videos if you’d like them. (Click here to request video help for using your MyEverythingDiSC site.)
 

You may find some more helpful resources in our free library! We’ve collected some of our most useful tools into one place and as all members of Laurie’s Reminder Series get free access to these invaluable tools! (Forgot your password? No problemo! Sign up for a reminder at lauriesudbrink.com/signmeup)

As we run around trying to find that special gift, remember your presence might be the best present you ever give.

In our relationships, being receptive and truly present is critical – not only for the other person or people, but for ourselves. When we can turn off the thoughts and tune into the “now”, we become authentic; we are less stressed, more effective, and a lot happier.

This can be difficult in the world we live. We have a lot going on! And certainly the challenges for each DiSC style vary. But it’s safe to say, for most of us, it just takes practice. And we often resist that practice because we don’t see an immediate payoff.

The value of being present can be tough to measure. But with a little attention, you will see the results - they are undeniable. The amount of time it takes to perform a task decreases, due to your focus and your desire, and this spreads to the person with whom you are present. They feel connected; they feel like you care; and they reciprocate.

HOW TO BE PRESENT: Being present is about quieting your mind and just being in the moment. We can practice this anywhere. Just keep focusing on the one thing that’s in the “now.” Bring your mind back when it wanders off.

For example, while brushing your teeth, practice by thinking only of your teeth, the toothbrush, the bristles, your tongue… you get it. If you brush your teeth for 1 or 2 minutes twice a day, it becomes routine to practice presence. Then you can add it into driving, and other habitual, daily activities that you’re already doing. Even breathing can be a great place to practice.

Then start practicing with people. When your mind travels, consider stopping the conversation and asking for a rewind! “I’m sorry, my thoughts just got hooked elsewhere, can you repeat that?” Most people will appreciate your openness, and since we all do it, it’s a great way to connect, be authentic, and show you’re human!

You may find some helpful resources in our free library! We’ve collected some of our most useful tools into one place and as a member of Laurie’s Reminder Series, you can access them all for free!

If you're not already a member, subscribe now to receive the password for the Resource Library.